Hoar Frost

Erin Emily Ann Vance

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A speaker listens to their neighbours’ karaoke party through the microwave. A family home is sold to someone whose name they don’t know. Winter drags on. Through evocative images, Erin Emily Ann Vance’s “Hoar Frost” manages to capture the pulsating loneliness that presents itself at the beginning of every new year and the ways in which winter persists unlike any other season.

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Yolk began as an electric conversation around a picnic table in Saint Henri Square.

Our scruffy pioneer and present prose editor had previously approached each of us with an idea, a vision: We would establish our own literary magazine in Montreal. And so it was, or so it would be. After that original encounter, eight individuals devoted to the word resolved that they would gather bi-weekly, on Sundays, and bring something new into this busy, manic world—something that might slow its spin down somewhat and cause its patronage to say: “You know what, it ain’t so bad, is it, Susan?”

We are undergraduate, graduate, and graduated students of writing. Some of us learn our craft formally from accomplished authors in seminar courses, and some of us learn by looking out the window of the world and onto the streets that sing below. Some of us learn from screaming squirrels, old curtains, departed grandfathers, and bowel movements. We learn from old lovers, long winters, imperfect mothers, and from the deep internet where a musical genius remains entombed.

Yolk is cold floors on Sabbath mornings, home-brewed ginger beer in the endless afternoon, and downpours of French-pressed coffee in assorted artisanal mugs. Our first official gathering was scheduled for a duration of two hours; most of us remained for six, departing only to attend to the summons of our own beckoning realities. Together, with time suspended, we talked endlessly of contributing something to disrupt Montreal’s literary ecosystem. Something unparalleled, something true.

But what? There was nothing to discuss. There was everything to discuss.

We volunteer our time, hounding some elusive beast composed of combustible words and works. We are hopeful, truly hopeful, that we can give something new, a new way, a new light, and that if we cannot, we might at least uphold the traditions of our predecessors, cast star-wide nets to capture their echoes. We are a thousand decisions. We are a sanctuary for the orphaned word, the solitary writer, the cereal-eating artist who yearns for company, for the comfort of a like mind; we sit together with them at foggy dawn, it rains a baptism, with our arms and hands intertwined, we form an umbrella—underneath, they scribble madly, the perfect picture.

Yolk in no way presumes to be superior to its contemporaries, but its contemporaries should not presume yolk to be anything other than loud—quite, quite loud. We are yippidy jazzed to address the oh-so-technicolorful magnificence of the human experience, but we are prepared also to address the ugliness, to stare at its wet, hairy snout and into its square depth and to roar in return at the things that yearn to devour our skin, beset our ethos, and dig graves in our own backyards.

There’s so much to say, there’s so much we don’t know, but together, with you, we can placate that ignorance, render it peaceful, tolerable, and perhaps even, fucking beautiful.

And Susan says, “Amen.”

My mother guts the house on Guildford Road,
hurls pints of soured milk into the skip—old sheets, 
three single beds, a bag of cat food dated 2011.

There is an empty seat at my grandmother’s burial;
the night before, my father rips out his stitches
in a camper behind his sister’s house, vomits blood 
on the doggy door, on the dog. I drive straight from
the cemetery to the intensive care unit.

This year, the hoar frost has held on for days—each branch 
on the tree outside my office is flanked with selenite. 
The kids in our townhouse complex have hollowed out 
a cave in the ever-growing snowpile by the garbage shed—
undeterred by the cold, they pretend they are soldiers. 

Our neighbours host a karaoke party on a Wednesday night 
in November—the rough brick warps their voices, 
but I can hear their tongues dart in and out in English and Ukrainian
if I open the microwave and place my head inside.

The house on Guildford Road sells and I wonder who will
feed the stray cats now that Uncle Mike is in a home. The town 
fells the trees outside my office window, and now the 
winter feels as naked as the wires that jump started my father’s heart
or the cardboard box the medical school returned my grandmother in.

In February, the ice caves are still outside. Every Wednesday, I 
listen to the neighbours warble Whitney Houston, 
and though the hoar frost has melted and winter won’t end 
anytime soon, the softness lingers still.

Erin Emily Ann Vance is the author of the poetry collection, A History of Touch (Guernica Editions 2022). Her work has appeared in journals including Contemporary Verse 2, Freefall, Arc, EVENT, and The Literary Review of Canada. She is an alumna of the University of Calgary, University College Dublin, and the Seamus Heaney Centre. Erin currently lives in rural Orkney and edits the League of Canadian Poets' Fresh Voices series.

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Additional reading

My Shining Lot

The Jogger

Yolk acknowledges that our work in Tiohtià:ke/Montréal takes place on the unceded Indigenous lands of the Kanien’kehá:ka/Mohawk Nation. Tiohtià:ke is known as a gathering place for many First Nations, and we recognize the Kanien’kehá:ka as custodians of the lands on which we gather.

Yolk warmly acknowledges the financial support of the Canada Council for the Arts,  Conseil des arts de Montréal, and the English Language Arts Network’s Trellis Micro-grant project, funded by The Department of Canadian Heritage’s Official Languages Support Programs.