Ode to Mikhail Baryshnikov

Nelle Yvon

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In “ODE TO MIKHAIL BARYSHNIKOV,” a young speaker marvels over the legendary ballet dancer of the 70s and 80s. Nelle Yvon considers the stranger elements of first crushes, our fascination with celebrity, and if there is a god manipulating our first instances of infatuation.

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Yolk began as an electric conversation around a picnic table in Saint Henri Square.

Our scruffy pioneer and present prose editor had previously approached each of us with an idea, a vision: We would establish our own literary magazine in Montreal. And so it was, or so it would be. After that original encounter, eight individuals devoted to the word resolved that they would gather bi-weekly, on Sundays, and bring something new into this busy, manic world—something that might slow its spin down somewhat and cause its patronage to say: “You know what, it ain’t so bad, is it, Susan?”

We are undergraduate, graduate, and graduated students of writing. Some of us learn our craft formally from accomplished authors in seminar courses, and some of us learn by looking out the window of the world and onto the streets that sing below. Some of us learn from screaming squirrels, old curtains, departed grandfathers, and bowel movements. We learn from old lovers, long winters, imperfect mothers, and from the deep internet where a musical genius remains entombed.

Yolk is cold floors on Sabbath mornings, home-brewed ginger beer in the endless afternoon, and downpours of French-pressed coffee in assorted artisanal mugs. Our first official gathering was scheduled for a duration of two hours; most of us remained for six, departing only to attend to the summons of our own beckoning realities. Together, with time suspended, we talked endlessly of contributing something to disrupt Montreal’s literary ecosystem. Something unparalleled, something true.

But what? There was nothing to discuss. There was everything to discuss.

We volunteer our time, hounding some elusive beast composed of combustible words and works. We are hopeful, truly hopeful, that we can give something new, a new way, a new light, and that if we cannot, we might at least uphold the traditions of our predecessors, cast star-wide nets to capture their echoes. We are a thousand decisions. We are a sanctuary for the orphaned word, the solitary writer, the cereal-eating artist who yearns for company, for the comfort of a like mind; we sit together with them at foggy dawn, it rains a baptism, with our arms and hands intertwined, we form an umbrella—underneath, they scribble madly, the perfect picture.

Yolk in no way presumes to be superior to its contemporaries, but its contemporaries should not presume yolk to be anything other than loud—quite, quite loud. We are yippidy jazzed to address the oh-so-technicolorful magnificence of the human experience, but we are prepared also to address the ugliness, to stare at its wet, hairy snout and into its square depth and to roar in return at the things that yearn to devour our skin, beset our ethos, and dig graves in our own backyards.

There’s so much to say, there’s so much we don’t know, but together, with you, we can placate that ignorance, render it peaceful, tolerable, and perhaps even, fucking beautiful.

And Susan says, “Amen.”

Six inches from the screen, I watch those two perfect cantaloupes 
snug in his tights, and oh, the way his tush 
flexes in pirouette, the way his grand jeté 
catches lift. He is the Nutcracker 
magicked into flesh, muscle, bone—a real live 
boy, but better than the ones I see 
at recess with dirty fingernails, the ones 
who wing kickballs at girls. 

I doubt Mikhail stinks like the boys at school, 
a little sweat and stale earth, like last year’s birds’ nests.
I imagine he smells of ocean salt or fresh bread. 
I watch the ballet again to observe Clara, to see if she 
frowns when angled toward him. But she smiles 
as she leans into his chest en pointe. 
And as she extends into arabesque, his gaze 
remains fixed on her painted mouth. 

All December I watch Mikhail, his performance
on a local-access loop. I follow the curve 
of his hip, the marble of his thigh. During 
the Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy, 
I ask God, Is this lust? And because lust invites 
demons, nightly, I pray please, protect me 
from possession
until slumber pulls me 
into dreams of cantaloupe. 

Nelle Yvon lives in Georgia where she writes poetry and nonfiction about the doomsday cult of her youth. She enjoys teaching poetry in the carceral classroom at Phillips State Prison with Common Good Atlanta. Her first chapbook, Field Notes from a Cult, is forthcoming with Lefty Blondie Press.

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Additional reading

The Babysitter

Three Poems

The Glamorous Life

Yolk acknowledges that our work in Tiohtià:ke/Montréal takes place on the unceded Indigenous lands of the Kanien’kehá:ka/Mohawk Nation. Tiohtià:ke is known as a gathering place for many First Nations, and we recognize the Kanien’kehá:ka as custodians of the lands on which we gather.

Yolk warmly acknowledges the financial support of the Canada Council for the Arts,  Conseil des arts de Montréal, and the English Language Arts Network’s Trellis Micro-grant project, funded by The Department of Canadian Heritage’s Official Languages Support Programs.